High school. Taken from my new Consent Teaching Pack. 2 Teach them the importance of saying “no” or “stop. A consent workshop activity using handshakes as a way of learning about sexual consent. Three Handshakes – An activity for learning how consent feels. If you would like me to come to your school or college or youth club to teach this you can book me here. I sometimes then ask people to do another ‘third handshake’ but this time with someone they haven’t shook hands with yet. )There are also mini lessons included, called activities.These worksheets are for Personal / Classroom use only and licensed for a single user only.Purchase extra licenses at a discount price to allow o California provides sample activities on how to teach consent. Consent must be given for every sexual activity, every time. CONTACT US. This will reduce the time taken to 5 minutes. After completing this educational activity in Informed Consent and Confidentiality, you should be able to: Sexual consent means both partners agree to the sexual activity and understand what they’re agreeing to. Desiree notices that Naomi is drinking a lot and starting to slur her words. We’ve found it a really useful exercise as it opens up lots of discussion about how we ask for our needs to be met as well as understanding some of the barriers for this. 1.Define the terms “consent,” “coercion” and “incapacitated.” [Knowledge] 2.Differentiate between a situation in which consent is clearly given and one in which it is not. You’ve all been able to practice how good consent feels.”, “So when people have the first kind of handshake they are shaking hands in the way that they are expected to, or they just take part in someone else’s handshake. Good quality education on consent should strive to support young people to have safe, pleasurable and satisfying experiences. Communication is vital to teaching consent. (Consent, Sexual Assault, Date Rape and Sexual Grooming. The video and two accompanying discussion guides (one for PARENTS, one for GROUP FACILITATORS) can be used in a classroom setting, with a small group of tweens/teens, or one-on-one with an adult who can lead an informed discussion. DO YOU and TEACH Consent are projects of the Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance, Virginia's leading voice on sexual and intimate partner violence. As parents we need to be able to clearly explain the concept and language of consent so they understand what to expect and how to express themselves in sexual situations. How Can We Teach Consent? Teaching kids to ask “Is it okay if I…?” before touching another person is essential when we are attempting to help them understand consent. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2011. Elementary schools are filled with innocent little humans who long for nurture, acceptance, and loving touch, often in the form of hugs. Most victims of sexual assault are women, and most perpetrators are men, and it’s likely that heterosexual boys are getting more pressure to coerce girls into sex than the other way around. This lesson was planned for a PSHE curriculum and is a lesson about consent. According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey Report¹: • 1 in 5 females and 1 in 7 males who ever experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, first experienced some form of intimate partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age. This involves asking everyone to shake hands and there will a total of three rounds of handshakes! Also, just because someone hasn’t said ‘no’ doesn’t mean ‘yes.’ So if someone says ‘no’ you should stop.”, “However what does consent feel like and how do we have sex we actually might want to have? You can use the video and accompanying discussion guides (one for PARENTS, one for GROUP FACILITATORS) to spark conversations with teens about respectful relationships, the importance of consent, and how teens can ask for and give consent in their friendships and dating relationships. Then explain …, “However if people were more ‘second handshake’ about sex then it would be really difficult to have sex because everything would have to be negotiated. Kim: It’s good to hear from you! As a violence prevention program working in rural Montana, we've created a five-lesson toolkit for educators that encourages middle school students to think critically about healthy relationships, power dynamics, boundaries and consent. 804.377.0335. info@vsdvalliance.org. 6 Consent = is giving permission, saying yes or agreeing to do something. How might how we feel about ourselves affect how much we feel we can have the sex (or handshakes) that we actually want to have? ¹Black MC, Basile KC, Breiding MJ, Smith SG, Walters ML, Merrick MT, Chen J, Stevens MR. Sometimes it can result in sex that isn’t consenting: either like feeling forced to take part in someone else’s handshake, or doing it because it’s expected, or one thing leading to another without anyone checking in that this is what you wanted.”, That’s quite a lot so make sure people have understood that. This is an activity that Meg-John Barker and I have been working on together over the last couple of years. The Oregon Department of Education outlines what to teach: defining consent, describing how relationship power imbalances could impact personal boundaries, and being able to say—and respect hearing—no. A kiss on the cheek (no tongues)?”, Then allow everyone who wants to to shake hands again, notice what happens in the room (there’s often more laughter and smiling, it also takes longer). video was created for tweens and teens ages 11-16 to show concrete examples of: what enthusiastic, verbal consent looks like, and; You can use the video and accompanying discussion guides (one for PARENTS, one for GROUP FACILITATORS) to spark conversations with teens about respectful relationships, the importance of consent, and how teens can ask for and give consent in their friendships and dating relationships. Also someone has to be able to give their capacity to consent. The ASK. They often don’t (or can’t) negotiate or say what they want but rely on the script for what counts as sex. • Divide the class into groups of 4 or 5. The ASK. This lesson focuses on consent and aims to equip young people with the knowledge and skills to keep themselves and others safe. For full instructions on how to use this activity, as well as a comprehensive slideshow to help you to deliver it, you should check out my new Consent Teaching Pack, which contains several other interactive and in-depth activities about consent, negotiation and power. www.vsdvalliance.org @VActionAlliance Sexual activity includes kissing, sexual touching and sexual intercourse (oral, anal, and vaginal). It can open up a lot of discussion so it may need a bit of guidance to take it to where you need it to go. What happened?”. Naomi nods her head and is led upstairs by Jackson. Remember, when it comes to sexual activities and sex, you have the right to decide when you do it, where you do it, and how you do it. Give each group a printed questionnaire (included in the pack). A happy and enthusiastic ‘yes’ will do. Start by introducing the idea of consent. A hug? So. Often when people have sex they take a ‘first handshake’ approach. These teaching materials can be easily integrated into your PSHE education programme and are designed to help pupils to understand and maintain healthy relationships while learning about consent and challenging controlling behaviour, violence and abuse. Then ask the following questions …, “how was that?” (answers here may a bit longer than the first time round, generally speaking lots of people prefer it), “on a scale of one to ten how was it?” (usually this gets between 6 and 9), “how did it compare to the first handshake?” (people often say “it was more mutual,” “we knew what was going to happen,” “it was more fun” “there was more eye contact”), “did anyone prefer the first handshake?” (try to convince people that this isn’t a trick question – it’s important that people feel they can say they did. It’s just £12.50 for an instant download. This is a simple sounding activity but it is potentially quite a powerful one and a tricky one to get right. Authentic Consent = saying yes or giving permission free of any pressure. Teaching them about consent can help keep them safe from child predators, but it can also be about simpler things, like whether they want to play a game or get a hug from a classmate — laying the groundwork for an understanding of sexual relationships much later on, as well as ensuring a safer classroom environment in the present. At Power Up, Speak Out! video was created to promote healthy relationships among tweens and teens by providing concrete examples of how to ask for consent, what enthusiastic, verbal consent looks like, and how to accept “no” as normal boundary-setting in relationships. [Knowledge] A NOTE ABOUT LANGUAGE: We believe parents can start educating children about consent and empowerment as early as 1 year old and continuing into the college years. For any sexual activity to happen, everyone needs to consent… Attitudes and beliefs formed during these critical years will most likely affect how they treat their dating partners now and in the future. 5 Ways to Teach Your Children About Consent In support of Sexual Assault Awareness Month , author and sexual consent activist Amy Hatvany shares five ways to talk to your kids about sex and consent. Like math or science, developmentally appropriate consent education should be included at each stage of K-12. Not all 11-16 year olds are dating, but most have probably thought about what it means to be in a dating relationship. You might also be interested in my new training course about it here. As they’ve already learned about reading non-verbal messages, you can already go beyond ‘no means no’, to teach about enthusiastic consent. Teaching Teens about Consent. ACTIVITY: QUESTIONNAIRE (10 mins) (optional) • This activity can also be conducted as verbal class activity using the power point images. • More than half of all rapes of females occur before age 18; 22% occur before the age of 12. • Adolescent girls who experience dating violence are more likely to exhibit other serious behaviors such as substance abuse, increased suicide attempts, unhealthy weight control, and risky sexual behavior. Jackson, a cute guy at the party, approaches Naomi, who is totally drunk. Sometimes being a bit ‘second handshake’ is important and some people are able to talk about sex like this. Ask the group to think of why this is. [Knowledge, Skill] 3.Demonstrate an understanding of how giving and getting clear consent is part of a respectful relationship. There might be so much negotiation about every single thing (kissing, touching, words, taking clothes off etc) that it would take away a lot of the fun and spontaneity. But when it comes to teaching kids about consent, we do way too little, way too late. This is my fifth semester as a SHAPE facilitator, and I am still trying to figure out how to teach about consent. FREE (2) Popular paid resources. www.vsdvalliance.org @VActionAlliance For instance, what are sexually active men called compared with what sexually active women are called? Alicia Johnson. Although people may feel like they should take part in the handshakes (which might be one of the learning points of the activity) please don’t explicitly force people to do so. In this article, we’ll go over important tools and techniques that can be used to help teach consent to children in preschool. What makes asking for the sex you want (or don’t want) more difficult? Really pay attention to them. However a lot of people find this really difficult.”, “So, the key is to be more ‘third handshake.’ This means really paying attention to what each other wants and trying to make it mutually pleasurable. Try to keep it fun and spontaneous but also try to find ways of communicating with the other person to make sure that you and they are both into it (and can stop if you want). Sex without consent is rape or sexual assault. By finding new and innovative ways to teach Canadians that consent is simply the voluntary agreement to participate in the sexual activity in question, educators can impact a whole generation. And evidence suggests that what we are doing doesn’t give students the skills they need to … It is the responsibility of the person initiating the sexual activity to get this permission.” How do we teach our children about consent? This is where teaching kids to ask for consent first is important. RESPECT. It may get a bit uncomfortable to talk about these things in the context of young children, but it is important to break through that stigma so we can address these issues as they are developing so they don’t become larger later on in life. Once everyone has settled back down …. Kim: It’s good to hear from you! If you would like to deliver this activity in the classroom as part of a relationships and sex education curriculum for 14 – 16 year olds, head to DO… RSE for Schools.Â. Consent always needs an enthusiastic yes. Ppt Presentation - Informed Consent General Overview; Ppt Presentation - Informed Consent Case Studies; Objectives. Even if they suspect that teaching consent is part of the problem, they're not sure how. So. FREE (2) NSPCC Key stage 3: Lesson plan 6 - Consent. It’s never too early to teach children about consent and boundaries on The Washington Post The Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Kids Consent, Ages 1-21 on The Good Men Project If you like using these cards to get the conversations going with your kids, you may also like to download my empathy game to talk about respecting each other’s feelings even more. A fist bump? We’ve also massively improved our greetings whenever we meet up (a good firm hug, lasting for about 2 seconds). Ask about times when people have been unsure whether what they were doing or experiencing was okay. RESPECT. Discriminate between acceptable and unacceptable exclusion of information presented as part of the informed consent process. Additionally, Kim is a writer and teacher who blogs at Tea and Intimacy; if anyone can talk consent and passion, it’s Kim. This means that if someone is drunk or nearly unconscious or felt they weren’t able to say ‘no’ then it’s not consensual. how ‘in tune’ they were with the other person, whether they copied or mirrored what the other person was doing, how the moments of connection and disconnection felt. We reached out last week, asking Kim for a few practical ideas to teach consent to our littles — whether they’re small, pre-teen, or — sob! It works as an analogy for sexual consent, but it’s also interesting to think about how we do and don’t consent to greetings in everyday life. I’m going to take you through two lesson plans that can work for anyone from beginners on up to experienced dancers that want to practice breaking some of these old patterns. The Home Office Disrespect NoBody PSHE education teaching materials are designed to support the Government’s campaign to help prevent abusive behaviours within young people’s relationships.. Teach verbal and nonverbal communication. )There are also mini lessons included, called activities.These worksheets are for Personal / Classroom use only and licensed for a single user only.Purchase extra licenses at a discount price to allow o I've written "Can We Talk About Consent - A Book About freedom, choices, and agreement." If you allow the discussion to roam a little it can take longer (which might be good to do in a training course). Negotiate this on a scale of 1 to 10”, “How long would you like it to go on for, or how many shakes would you like?”, “Do you want to dry your hands first?”, “Do you want to do something else altogether? Ask the group the following questions and try to make sure different views are heard. That’s an enthusiastic yes. Instead we could try being more ‘third handshake.’, To explore how people can incorporate the best of both handshakes and to think of how they do this. Coercion = involves using the threat of harm to make someone do something against their will. For children between 5-12 years old, you should focus more on teaching kids to respect one another’s space and to avoid bullying behavior to help grow empathy. To explore what consent may feel like and exploring what makes getting and giving consent easier and harder. Coercion and Consent Scenarios 1. Kids act on impulse, and sometimes they do things that aren’t appropriate without realizing that their actions are inappropriate. Asking consent isn’t just for straight boys. This Is How You Teach Kids About Consent We hope parents and educators find this list of action items and teaching tools helpful, and that together we can help create a generation of children who have less rape and sexual assault in their lives. Teaching young people to acknowledge and respect other people’s personal boundaries can help create a society where no one feels ashamed to willingly engage in, or to reject, sexual activity. Why? Look for body language, eye contact, facial expressions that kind of thing”, Notice what happens in the room and then ask some of these questions, “How did it compare with the first two?”, “On a scale of one to ten how was it?”, “Think about how you communicated to each other about the handshake. April 16, 2018. by bishtraining. However sometimes it can lead to rubbish sex because people aren’t able to talk about what they actually like or they don’t have bodies that can enjoy that kind of sex. Another experiential activity you could try is my ‘Choose Chocolate’ exercise in my Consent Teaching Pack, where participants get to practice tuning into what they want and learning how to meet their needs and others. I’ve provided wording which I’ve found works for me. Often the ‘third handshake’ was the preferred handshake of the group. “how was that?” (answers here may be quite short “ok” “all right”), “how was it to other handshakes you’ve had?”, “what’s the secret to a great handshake?” (people might talk about firmness, or the context – eg who’s doing the handshake and when), “on a scale of one to ten how was it?” (usually this gets between 4 and 7), Then explain that you would like them to shake hands again …, “This time I’d like you to shake hands again but I’d like you negotiate it.”, “Do you want to shake hands with left or right hand?” [you might want to ask if there are any left handed people in the room and which hand they shake with], “Do you want to go up and down or side to side?”, “How firm do you want it to be? Consent is the foundation of a sexual relationship. They might say “it was less awkward,” “it was over more quickly,” “it was more fun,” “it was more exciting not knowing how it was going to be.”), “So neither ‘first handshake’ or ‘second handshake’ is ideal. Many children will hug any adult who is willing to reciprocate the cuddle. Identify barriers to effective informed consent. “So this is all about consent. Please leave a review if you found any of this lesson helpful! It’s a global concept, with applications in every facet of life. The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. At the heart of consent is the idea that every person has a right to personal sovereignty – the right to not be acted upon by someone else in a sexual manner unless they give that person clear permission. The first lesson focuses on changing holds or positions. 804.377.0335. info@vsdvalliance.org. People often say that consent is confusing, or they’re unsure about “grey areas,” but consent is easy. SHAPE follows a model of peer facilitation, where we work with students through participation and activities to come to new understandings of issues of sex and sexuality. Usually they say that they really felt a connection this time. Teaching kids about the skills of consent can help reduce sexual coercion, harassment, and even assault. Teaching teens about consent isn't an option in today's world. By Monica Rivera. So explain, “I’d like you to shake hands for one last time, but this time I’d like you to try and get a balance between first handshake and second handshake. (Consent, Sexual Assault, Date Rape and Sexual Grooming. Teach them that consent means asking for and waiting to hear a "yes"—it does not mean continuing to touch someone sexually until they hear the word "no." It's about how to choose your perfect pizza, what to watch on TV, who plays in goal, politics, rights, and yeah also a bit about sex. EC_Resources The guidance on consent education looks different from state to state. LISTEN. There are ways to be second handshake when we’re planning sex with someone – such as texting what we like, or talking together about different kinds of sex we might want to try. Desiree and Naomi are best friends and are at a party together. USING THE VIDEO AND DISCUSSION GUIDE. We reached out last week, asking Kim for a few practical ideas to teach consent to our littles — whether they’re small, pre-teen, or — sob! The Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Kids Consent, Ages 1-21 By Joanna Schroeder , Julie Gillis, Jamie Utt and Alyssa Royse A list of parenting action items, created in the hope that we can raise a generation of children who have less rape and sexual assault in their lives. Teaching Consent Doesn’t Have to be Hard; Widen Layout: standard. DO YOU and TEACH Consent are projects of the Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance, Virginia's leading voice on sexual and intimate partner violence. The illustrations are beautiful and hilarious. When you encourage sharing and turn-taking, you are teaching consent. Many of us teach consent everyday without knowing it. Are there times when you feel like you can’t say no to a handshake? Create educational activities for ethical dilemmas regarding informed consent and confidentiality using these presentations. Teaching our kids about consent might seem awkward or foreign, not only because it involves the subject of sex, but also because the majority of today’s adults didn’t get consent … It takes teaching about consent beyond a very simple legalistic message such as ‘no means no’ and gives people the opportunity to experience the barriers and opportunities for experiencing consent in a safer environment. Sexual violence is a big problem in young dating relationships in part because teens are not clear on what consent means, nor how to ask for it. Yes please! LISTEN. At this point the participants will still be a bit wary of what’s going on, so you might want to keep this part of the discussion a bit shorter. Additionally, Kim is a writer and teacher who blogs at Tea and Intimacy; if anyone can talk consent and passion, it’s Kim. After completing this educational activity in Informed Consent and Confidentiality, you should be able to: Identify the four principle components of informed consent. Make sure different views are heard each stage of K-12 describe different people who have sex they take a first. From it every time we facilitate it – we hope you like it.! Consent = saying yes or giving permission free of any pressure understood more... Consent and aims to equip young people to share some stories about times when comes... 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